What NOT to Say to a Woman Who is Full Term (or Beyond)

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I'm currently 39 weeks pregnant and definitely feeling it!  In a world of friends "going early," scheduled inductions and c-sections, and the lucky few whose water breaks "right on time," it can be frustrating to be patient and let nature take it's course, especially since it seems like most people expect no one in their right mind to actually get to their due date.  (Remember:  39 weeks is full term, first time moms generally naturally go to 41 weeks, and women who have had a child before tend to hit 40 weeks, 3 days, on average.)  I try to avoid public discussion about my pregnancy this late in the game, but do try to take such comments with a grain of salt.  After all, people are well meaning and just trying to make conversation.  I've asked my blogging friends to contribute to this post of "what NOT to ask or say to a woman who is 39 (or beyond) weeks pregnant!"  Check it out and see if you can relate!

what not to say

  • "You're STILL pregnant?"
  • "It'll be over soon enough."  
  • "This too shall pass."
  • "Enjoy the quiet while you can."
  • "You better catch up on your sleep now!"  (as if that's possible anyway…)
  • "You haven't had that baby YET!?"
  • "WOW!  You look like you're about to POP!"
  • "Are you SURE you're not having twins?"
  • "Wow…you don't even look that far along!"  (translation:  I just look fat and swollen.)
  • "Are you going to breastfeed?"  
  • "When is your doctor going to induce??"
  • "Please tell me you're getting an epidural."
  • "You are HUGE!"
  • "You look like you have dropped!"  (Why shouldn't you say this, you might ask?  Well, it gives false hope to those who don't know that some moms don't ever drop at all, some drop weeks before birth, and most women who have had a baby before sometimes don't drop until labor actually begins.)
  • "You are making my stomach hurt!"  (yeah…..sorry about that….  ???)
  • "What are you/baby measuring?"  (Whether it be estimated weight of baby, fundal height, cervical status, or whatever, it just doesn't matter.  And frankly, I don't need anyone to know the state of my cervix, thank you very much.)
  • "Have you tried [castor oil, walking, sex, spicy foods, moving furniture, cleaning, pineapple, mango, acupuncture, massage, or other natural induction method]?"  Just don't.
  • And last but not least, do not try to predict when the baby will come, especially if you are a doctor or midwife.  Telling a woman at 37 weeks that she could "go any minute" makes her pretty darn unhappy by 41 weeks.

These comments don't bother me anymore, because I feel well educated after doing this for the third time.  But, it can be a very depressing day to hear so many of these comments, and most of us can't just sit in solitude until labor begins.  So, my suggestion is just to just smile and keep comments and suggestions to yourself.  Chances are, the woman has heard it all before anyway.  

Special thanks to the awesome bloggers from:  

7 On A Shoestring, Southern Girl Ramblings, Roasted Beanz, and Tales From The Nursery

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Gena is the mom of three boys, ages 5, 3, and brand new! She is the wife of a great man, a Christian, blogger, and former kindergarten teacher turned stay-at-home mom. They live in the Dallas/ Ft. Worth, Texas area.

Comments

  1. Oh man, people start saying these lines to me at like 35 weeks! LOL

  2. Those comments didn't really bother me that much but I can see how they could get annoying for some people – or even hurtful as you might not know entirely what they're going through and it might bring up something very sensitive.

  3. that's quite a list  :)

  4. I agree with all of those! People seem to think that pregnant women are fair game for just about any question or comment.

  5. You need to add "When are you planning on having another one?" 
    Yes, at 40 weeks preggo; and I got asked that by a stranger. I was about to kill them right there. lol. 

  6. an awesome list to share with people who dont know better ;p

  7. Great list! I went 41 weeks and then was induced with my first one and I was so tired of the comments of how I looked ready any minute. Now I'm 34 weeks pregnant I'm so not looking forward to those comments cause I already feel uncomfortable! 

  8. I hate those comments! And such a great list, I can't think of any more right now.

  9. My first two were at 41 and 40 weeks and baby #3 was 39 weeks but only because he was scheduled c-section. This one will be 2 days before 40 weeks, scheduled again. A lot of those questions can get annoying!
     

  10. This is AWESOME! I remember people at 33 weeks were like are you due tomorrow?! Reallly!! 

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